Irish parenting blogger's daughter caught her having sex

Irish parenting blogger's daughter caught her having sex

There are few passion-killers so powerful as spying a confused and sleepy toddler looking on from the side of the bed. 

As one mother-of-two discovered after a snatched session with her boyfriend was interrupted by their three-year-old daughter wandering in to their bedroom. 

Irish parenting blogger Emma Lou Harris, 29, from Limerick, recounted the experience in hilarious detail online, revealing how the fact her partner Joe had finally emptied the dishwasher sparked a night of lust - only for him to react like he was 'having an exorcism' at hearing their daughter in the room.  

Emma Lou Harris, 29, is seen with her partner Joe Nolan, 30, and their children Jax, two, (left) and three-year-old Frankie (right)

Emma Lou gave a no-holds-barred account of how Frankie interrupted a night of passion 

Emma, who documents her life as a mum-of-two in her blog, managed to see the funny side

Red-faced Emma, who writes about parenting issues, said the unfortunate episode happened after she had lined up a saucy session at their home - because the sight of Joe being helpful around the house got her in the mood.

Emma, from Limerick, Ireland, said: 'I was so traumatised by it that I couldn't even speak about it for six months but these are the realities that parents face.

'I found it really difficult to even speak about it. Joe was silent for about a week. We were wondering 'have we done something wrong?'.

'Obviously we thought the kids were asleep and closed the door but then we were really getting into it and all of a sudden Frankie is stood there asking for her soother.

'Once you've ha d children you struggle to get any time around the house and then once you do you're too tired or can't be bothered. It's a different world.

'It's happened to every single person I know. We'd built up to it, had a couple of drinks, and then you're talking all dirty - 'you're gonna end up in an ambulance' - that sort of thing.

The blogger wrote that it had been 'hotter than satan's b***s' before their raunchy session was interrupted by a sleepy toddler 

'It's not an image I would like my child to have,' Emma wrote in her candid blog post

The honest blogger recounted the night in question in hilarious detail for her followers 

'Then we're right in the middle of it and the horror suddenly dawns that there's a child at the side of the bed. I thought I'd be concerned about what Frankie thought but I was traumatised.

'If I looked like Pamela Anderson I wouldn't mind but it's not an image I would like my child to have. We just didn't hear her come in. There were no footsteps, no crying - how long had she been there?'

Emma and Joe, who also have a two-year-old son, Jax, say they have since taken greater precautions when it comes to finding some alone time.

Emma started blogging in October after struggling with post-natal depression

The blogger and her partner of five years are raising two children, Frankie and her little brother, Jax

Emma says Joe reacted as though he were 'having an exorcism' when the couple realised their daughter was next to the bed

'My poor misfortunate child': Emma revealed her concerns over her daughter's future therapy bills having caught her parents in the act 

In her post, Emma vividly described how 'it was getting hotter then Satan's b***s' as the pair got down and dirty before Frankie's appearance caused Joe to 'leap off me higher than a kangaroo hurdler while very nearly giving himself a home circumcision from the ceiling fan in the process'.

The raunchy post continued: 'I watched him [Joe], almost in slow motion, fly through the air in panic, the anaconda swerving all over the place threatening to strangle me to death in the act.'

The couple, who have been together for five years, now make sure the lights are dimmed to prevent prying eyes being exposed to anything if they are caught.

Emma, who started blogging last October, said: 'T he first time he said to me 'can I turn the lamp off?' I was so offended. I thought there was something wrong with my face.

'It turns out he just didn't want the kids to see anything in the event they walked in again. We're definitely more cautious now.

'One of the main reasons I started writing about parenthood was to detail my post-natal depression and try to dismiss what I call 'Mary Poppins syndrome', where everything is perfect.

'Everyone has sex, it isn't the 1950s anymore,' the frank mother-of-two wrote online 

Emma's partner Joe says the pair have to be 'stealthier' about their sex life now they have kids

The pair had no idea how long their daughter had been standing there watching them 

'Everyone has sex. It isn't the 1950s anymore. I'm quite open and I don't see the point in sanitising what life is like. Frankie didn't know what's going on so it's not going to harm her.

'Joe's reaction was that of a typical man - he's just happy I referred to his anaconda.'

In her post, Emma joked: 'I pray to the baby Jesus that we have a poltergeist and I also pray it's legally blind...Myself and Joe are due to finish our Trauma Counselling sometime in the year 2045.'

Joe, 30, who runs a restaurant, said: 'It's something you don't forget in a hurry. It is what it is.

'Things are very different when you're single and you've no kids and can do what you want.

'Now we 've got to be a bit stealthier. The description I got made me come out of it sounding quite good so that's the best part for me.

'Usually the kids fall asleep around 8.30pm and then wake up again just after midnight. So now we make sure they're in a deep sleep before anything goes down.'

 

قالب وردپرس

Tweet

Subscribe to receive free email updates: