All the places I'll never live: a castle | Life and style
As I hurtle towards my 30th birthday, personal space is top of my wishlist. Like many people my age, I don’t own a property. I’ll never own a castle, obviously, but I’ll also never own a Cotswolds cottage, an Edinburgh town house, a cosy studio or a two-up two-down doer-upper. Instead, over the past 10 years I’ve lived in various flatshares, with all kinds of characters: the all-night partiers, the arguing couple, the clean freak, the bill dodger and, of course, the ultimate flatmate: my mum.
Mum’s place had some pros â€" great food, cheap rent, cuddles on demand â€" but some serious cons, namely that she couldn’t see me as an adult, only the teenager I was before I left â€" and her “no locks, no knocks†rule. I’d never had a telephone job interview interrupted by a woman shouting about dishwasher tablets before.
Still, my mum wasn’t my worst landlord. The last one’s no-notice visits kept us on our toes. But what could we do? After spending many evenings lost in the Zoopla rabbit hole, the solution is clear: live somewhere with a moat.
This place, Earlshall Castle in Scotland, advertised on Savills at the time of writing, boasts 26 rooms, a five-car garage and three cottages, as well as a walled garden with Edward Scissorhands-style hedge sculptures. Of course, all I really dream of is a room of my own â€" but if that comes with a topiary phallus, who’s complaining?
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