Have a clear out: six things to do before the baby comes along | EBay: find your thing
When it comes to parenting advice, it’s hard to sort other people’s unique experiences with their baby from the nuts-and-bolts stuff that everyone needs to know. As the father of a bouncing five-month-old boy, I now know that feeding, sleeping, pooping and soothing are king. This rest can come later. Pre-arrival, though, the where of raising our baby became just as important as the how â€" cue the biggest logistics operation of our lives. Here’s what we learned.
Clear it out
Clothes, blankets, books, toys and all kinds of gadgets: babies are magnets for stuff, and unless you live in the type of house that has east and west wings you’ll need to make room for it all. As a keen “collector†(read: certified hoarder), I found this particularly painful. My advice: think of this as an exercise in living simply or mindfully, and be brutally honest with yourself. Do you need those Matrix DVDs you never watch? If you haven’t touched them in 12 months, sell them on eBay. That cupboard will soon be full of tiny socks, believe me.
Ready your changing station
That ubiquitous movie moment where elegantly, paint-spattered couples turn cavernous spare rooms into luxury pastel nurseries gives an unrealistic image of prepping for a new arrival. Suckered in by this fantasy, I lovingly painted the spare room and bought a pricey futon we never ended up using. The lesson? Start small.
If you’re pressed for space or time, forget aesthetics. A sturdy changing table, some blankets for swaddling, a box of Napisan, cotton balls and a large pack of size-one nappies are all you really need. Oh, and lots of hand soap …
Plan for bedtime
You’re getting a new housemate, so make room somewhere close to hand but safe â€" we went for a co-sleeping bedside cot. Arguably even more important is a soft night light (you’ll find them on eBay, of course). On our first night home from hospital my poor, frazzled partner and I thought we could sleep in the dark with our new arrival â€" y’know, like adults do. Rookie error. Newborns literally don’t know what night-time is; they’ll merrily feed and move their bowels like it’s a Sunday morning, and you’ll end up stumbling over a boot and falling into the wardrobe if you don’t have a light source.
If one of you will be going to work once your arrival’s settled in, you may also want to set up a spare bed. Many working partners end up sleeping elsewhere for a few months to keep their energy levels up. Take the opportunity to buy a banging new duvet â€" I did.
Don’t buy these things
In our experience, birth was like one huge secret Santa: people we barely knew were heartbreakingly generous, handing us wonderful gifts by the armful. For this reason, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be fine for cute outfits, toys and blankets, so don’t buy them. Fancy extras â€" ornate lamps or wall decorations â€" don’t matter either.
Concentrate on practical items that will make the chaos of those first few months more bearable: buy vests (they get dirty fast); a steriliser (saves boiling the kettle to make up bottles); and think about how you’ll be feeding (Lansinoh cream works wonders for chapped nipples, formula powder is more cost-effective than pre-made). Naturally, all this is on eBay.
Pack your hospital bag
Considering your best-case scenario is a late-night dash to the hospital, packing light and smart is key here. I wish I’d heeded this advice: on the day, I ended up looking like Private Baldrick, lugging any number of bags and boxes with me. There are countless online guides for what to pack, but here’s what they don’t tell you: hospital wards are maintained at about 28C, so you’ll want to bring loose and comfy clothes for both of you or you’ll end up a sweaty mess. The hospital also won’t feed the partner â€" fair enough â€" so pack high-energy snacks and drinks.
Treat yourself
Life with a new baby is like putting your bike into a higher gear; it’s challenging and strenuous, but exhilarating and ultimately rewarding. That said, you will miss the simple pleasures of independence, so cram it in now. Outside of limited parent-and-baby screenings, the cinema is something you can kiss goodbye to, so take in a few movies. Buy each other a present. Go out for a fancy dinner and appreciate the simple joy of getting home as late as you fancy. Enjoy the feeling of being young lovers before you become young parents. As a happily greying dad I can tell you, it’s all change once junior arrives.
You may never feel totally ready for a new arrival, but you can give yourself a strong start by selling anything unnecessary (cough, Matrix DVDs) and buying all the must-haves, new, on eBay.
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