The British Pakistani women marrying their cousins

The British Pakistani women marrying their cousins

It may be controversial but it is legal to marry your cousin in the UK.

And for British Pakistanis the practise is common with an estimated 55 percent of them doing so.

For some Muslim girls it is an arrangement they agree to in order to keep their families happy, as Bradford-born Hiba Maroof discovered in BBC Three documentary 'Should I Marry My Cousin'.

The 18-year-old is faced with the dilemma of whether she should follow family tradition and marry a cousin or tie the knot with a man of her own choice. 

Hiba speaks to family members and also other British Pakistani women who are at the same crossroads as her. 

Her 18-year-old cousin Amin sums up the pressure they face when she tells her: 'Sometimes you have to listen to your parents as well to keep them happy. So if you don’t listen to your parents they think that you don’t love them.'

Hiba admits she has concerns over the health issues of interbreeding.  

A recent report revealed that while British Pakistanis were responsible for three per cent of all births, they accounted for 30 per cent of British children born with a genetic illness. 

'That many children shouldn’t be disabled if it can be helped.

'I’m not going to lie the genetic talk scares me,' Hiba said. 

Hiba Maroof is supported by her parents Maroof and Nuzhat as she researched her family tradition of marrying cousins

Hiba met with two sisters just moments before their double wedding. They were both happy to marry their cousins

The 18-year-old also visits with one family who have two severely autistic children. Iftacan (right) and Minaz are first cousins, their son Roman (pictured) is autistic and their daughter Fatima, 20, is non-verbal 

Hiba also speaks to two sisters on their double wedding day - both are getting married to their cousins.

While one sister is happy to get married to her first cousin whom she has known since childhood and has been engaged to for a year, the second sister is entering an arranged marriage.  

'I don’t know much about my future husband,' she confesses to Hiba moments before her wedding ceremony. 

'It’s been fixed by the family. I’m seeing him today for the first time since our marriage was fixed a year ago.'

Hiba is an inquisitive teen who is keen to get married   but wants to find a 'good-looking' man who is 'trustworthy and open-minded'.

She is filmed travelling to  Mirpir, Pakistan, where her family are from.

COUSIN MARRIAGES 

Cousin marriages have been legal in the UK for over 400 years. 

A growing tradition in British Pakistani culture - 55 per cent of youngsters are marrying their first cousins. 

In Bradford, where Hiba comes from, that figure is 70 per cent.

Figures suggest that 42 per cent of all marriages end in divorce, but in first cousin marriages it is 20 per cent.

However a long-term study tracking the health of 13,500 'Born in Bradford' has found worrying statistics.

“Medical data previously suggested that while British Pakistanis were responsible for 3 per cent of all births, they accounted for 30 per cent of British children born with a genetic illness” 

Accompanied by her mother and father, Maroot and Nuzhat, they want Hiba to make her own informed decision, and don't truly believe in the tradition. 

'Cousin marriages keep parents happy'  

Hiba meets some of her extended family including one female cousin, who was already divorced after marrying outside of the family, and with two male cousins who are eligible for marriage in what she brands a very 'awkward' encounter. 

Divorcee Sabbah, 21, explained that her marriage breakdown was because she didn't have the backing of her family to help her.

'In family if something goes wrong in the marriage you can at least ask them because they are family, they look after you properly. 

'As for me I got married outside [my family] and it was really hard.' 

She explained that if she had another opportunity to get married the second time round would be completely different.

'I would marry inside the family, it would be so much better.' 

Hiba's 18-year-old cousin Amin (left) is in support of cousin marriages, as is divorcee Sabbah (right), 21, who got married outside of the family

Hiba travels to Pakistan to meet two of her eligible male cousins Sundas (second from left), 17, and Naheed, 21 (second from right)

Genetic illnesses from inter-breeding

Although security and stability are a plus for Hiba in cousin marriages - which one Imam Mohammad Sayed, says has become a more 'cultural thing than religious' - the medical issues still bothers the teenager.

She visits Newcastle to find out more about the risks from her uncle Younis, who's friend married a first cousin, 'will give you a better idea of the worst case scenarios' he tells her.

Iftacan and wife Minaz have three children, two of whom are severely autistic, Mariana Fatima, 20, is non-verbal and at the severe end of the spectrum a nd Rohan, 12, is very particular about the way things should be.

As a father Iftacan said along with the challenging moments there is a lot of joy.

The possibility of genetic illnesses did cross his mind but that many of his close relatives who had married their cousins had never had any problems to cause him any concern.

Hiba speaks with father-of-three Iftacan who says there are challenges in his family, and says if she's worried about genetic issues not to get married to her cousin

COUSINS SHOULD HAVE DNA TEST BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

Britain's first Asian peer Baroness Shreela Flather

Britain's first Asian peer Baroness Shreela Flather has made calls in the past for British Pakistani communities to ensure cousins have DNA tests before getting married.

A former barrister who sits in the House of Lords, she shared her own thoughts on the topic in 2015.

'There are a lot of first-cousin marriages in certain communities, particularly among Pakistanis who come from the Pakistani Kashmir area. 

'We know so much about DNA now, but there is so much disability among the children, which is absolutely appalling.'

Baroness Flather also blasted parents for 'allowing children to become disabled' because of their social practise which she believes doesn't belong in today's social age.

She added : 'There should at least be some rule which says that you must have a DNA examination before your marriage can be registered.'  

'When Fatima was diagnosed you get into the position of perhaps blaming yourself because of your cousin marriage and maybe that’s the reason why our kids have these learning difficulties and disabilities,' he tells Hiba.

'When we looked around we found that a lot of people who aren’t related and are married their kids have autism.'

Picking up on Hiba's own concerns he adds: 'If you want think you want to minimise your risks don’t go for a cousin marriage. 

'But don’t allow yourself to think you are safe from these conditions just because you are not in a cousin marriage.

'We have done a lot of soul searching over it, but we have come to the conclus ion that it’s luck of the draw. Whatever happens it is because nature intended it to happen.'

Hiba comes to the decision that she will not marry her cousin as she is concerned it wouldn't work and is worried about the potential health issues

A fully-informed decision 

The difficulties the family face appear to contribute to Hiba's decision not to follow the family tradition, despite her own test coming back negative for any genetic anomalies. 

'I think after meeting all the people and all the places I have been, I decided not to marry my cousin, it wouldn’t be something I would be comfortable with.

'The advantages don’t weigh up for me. Especially because the person who is closest to me and I know has been in a cousin marriage is my mum and that didn't work out for her.'

Although she isn't against cousin marriages, she advises those considering it to get tested so they can make a fully informed decision. 

Should I Marry My Cousin? is available to watch on BBC iPlayer now

Revealed: One in five child deaths in east London borough are because the baby's parents are RELATED

One in five child deaths in an east London borough are occurring because the baby's parents are related, a report has found.

A meeting of Redbridge Council's health and wellbeing board heard 19 per cent of the 200-plus infant deaths between 2008 and 2016 were 'attributable to consanguineous relationships' â€" co uples who are at least second cousins or more closely related.

The causes of death have been identified as 'genetic and congenital abnormalities', the board was told.

Redbridge Council heard a report has found 19 per cent of child deaths between 2008 and 2016 were directly due to parents being related (file picture)

Council health bosses were also told nine per cent of the children who died were from Pakistani families in the borough.

According to the Ilford Recorder, Gladys Xavier, chairwoman of the Child Death Overview Panel (CDOP), told the board 'educational programmes' had been rolled out among Asian communities in the area, while schools had been asked to 'put greater emphasis on genetics' so pupils understand the complications around interfamily marriages. 

The paper reported Cllr Joyce Ryan told the meeting some of the communities were 'finding it difficult to accept' the educational programmes.

Redbridge Council, pictured, heard 'educational programmes' had been rolled out in the community and schools to warn people of the dangers of children from interfamily marriages

Other councillors said it was a 'sensitive area' and was being handled as such, with the council 'moving in the right direction'. 

Meanwhile, the Recorder said the council's director of public health, Vicky Hobart, defended the statistics and said the report should not be 'misunderstood'.

According to the paper, she said: 'Consanguinity is very common in many cultures and the worry with something like this is that we are dealing with very small numbers.

'It is important to note trends but we should not read too much into it.' 

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