Move over Sean Hannity, meet Lara Trump – the president keeps the propaganda in the family | Life and style
Say what you will about the Trumps, they’ve always been a real nuclear family â€" albeit in a Three Mile Island kind of way. But rather like the Kardashian clan, there appears to be a near-limitless supply of lesser models to be rolled out as needed. If one Trump unit is malfunctioning, another can debut a nude lip shade or a “real news show†to draw the spotlight away.
The latest to be given her own spin-off product is presidential daughter-in-law Lara Trump. If you have trouble keeping your dead-eyed Trump consorts in order, be advised that Lara is married to Eric Trump, currently a sort of Adam Carrington analogue in that no one can summon the energy to care too much about him given how much else there is to watch. But things being what they are with the franchise plotting, Eric could easily become a Jeff or even a Steven at a later date.
For now, Eric still spends his days explaining away various misunderstandings that dog the family, such as why $1.2m of money raised by the Eric Trump Foundation and intended for childhood cancer research was apparently paid to his father’s company, to put on a golf tournament. Just a few weeks ago, you might recall, Eric declared that this kind of attack stemmed from the fact that “morality is just goneâ€. And on that we can all surely concur.
So that’s Eric. But far more exciting developments are afoot in the career of his wife, who has just beaten an undisclosed â€" but doubtless huge â€" field of external candidates to the job of being the president’s good news bear. I paraphrase slightly: but this week saw the debut of a Facebook news show presented by the president’s daughter-in-law, and designed to bring you the real news of the Trump administration. Which is all good news. The economy is booming. The president had a great time meeting some veterans.
When I say “news showâ€, what I am describing is a single camera tightly focused on Lara, who delivers a monologue straight to it. Hey, it was good enough for Ed Murrow. And I found much to enjoy in Lara’s delivery, which feels as if it was honed after a mean acting coach once said to her: “Hey â€" if you’re so happy, you should maybe tell your Restylane?†Either way, what she lacks in facial flexibility she more than makes up for in the vocal: a sort of hyper-perky QVC saleswoman patter that feels as if it might tip over into a gurgle of teary laughter at any minute. Indeed, one section introduced with the words “Also this week the president got to meet with ICE …†finds her almost struggling to keep a lid on her joy levels.
For all this, however, Lara does look like someone who has been forced to film a Real Housewives cocktail party fight scene for 12 hours back-to-back. As the video wore on, I couldn’t help but wonder whether she was an entirely free agent in all of this. If you’re reading, Lara, are you at liberty to come and go from your place of broadcast? If not, do you understand that in future broadcasts you could arrange your highlights to send coded distress signals?
Assuming all is well in Washington’s little corner of Pyongyang, however, it feels distinctly likely that Lara will soon be scooping exclusive interviews with the president himself. Inevitably, there will be moments he refuses to appear even to her â€" a bit like when former Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson was no-speaks with MUTV, a channel widely assumed to be broadcasting from a position at least 18 inches up his colon. But if things remain on track, I hope that the Trump presidency will soon create its own version of the Peabody Awards, at which I expect Lara to sweep the board.
As for other Trump-o-tainment news, the Hollywood Reporter has just revealed that a few years ago, President Trump was nearly cast as the US president in Sharknado 3. According to producers, he immediately said an informal yes to the offer, and talks were sufficiently advanced that a contract had been drawn up and sent to Trump’s lawyer, Michael D Cohen. Then the stalling began, with the Sharknado guys eventually informed: “Donald’s thinking about making a legitimate run for the presidency, so we’ll get back to you.†They never did, so mogul and Dallas mavericks owner Mark Cuban was cast instead â€" only for Cohen to reportedly lose his rag and demand: “How DARE you? Donald really wanted to do this.â€
I mean, I know jaw-dropping vignettes evoking Where We Are Now are hardly in short supply, but the latter at least makes this week’s Top Ten. It’s the timeworn fork in the road, isn’t it? Either you’re cast as the US president in a movie deliberately conceived as the ultimate cinematic schlock joke. Or, you know, you get elected actual US president. Choices, choices …
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